Loosening grasping in daily life
A conversation ends. The argument continues in thought. What happened and what is now being imagined are not quite the same.
The mind returns to what should have been said, what the other person must think, how it always goes this way. Some of this may concern something that needs putting right. Some belongs to the conversation being replayed now.
A thought can be useful without accounting for everything. Uncertainty about an interpretation leaves the event itself, and its consequences, intact.
Less grasping need not mean less responsibility, indifference or accepting harm.
Further reading
The Sallatha Sutta, SN 36.6: The Arrow distinguishes painful feeling from the further distress that can accompany a response to it.
Translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu · Access to Insight.
Longchenpa's texts are available in Lotsawa House's Longchen Rabjam collection.